Push

03/01/2018

I'm officially 23 years old, and I want to go out on a run, or get to go on a hunt. Maybe even track some Yetis. But, I can't do that. It's 12 AM and I am sitting in the darkness of my room probably ruining my eyes. But, they're already burning with lack of sleep, and blinking.

I'm not one to complain. Not only is my pain tolerance high, but there is just some things you get used to when your family is a bunch of Monster Hunters, y'know? You're going to get slobbered on by hellhounds, and it smells. You're probably going to get haunted every now and again by a straggling spirit. Entities tend to curse you.

But, having my own body get in my way?

That just never happened before.

But now, I get told to stay home during regular haunted area nights.

Like, sure, I get tired easily, especially since I started taking the meds for my Lupus, and I can't run as fast as I used to, but I can still contact the dead, for goober's sake.

It's not like a ghost can BRUISE me, either. (Ok, stop, I know technically-but you get what I mean. I'd even wear a helmet if it meant I could go outside and DO SOMETHING)

The worst is, the training. I want to push myself, I want to sweat, but Vaso is content in leaving me behind.

This? This is probably the worst part of it. She makes me feel so much weaker. Yeah, I bruise, but I can still fight. They say I have a 'light case' of Lupus, whatever that means. I could handle it, I could handle her (I have the past 19 years of her existence, anyway.)

Vaso has taken the role of the Monster Hunter for the both of us, which I never wanted. I want to spar, I want to sweat, I want to bleed and go on adventures and have fun.

I want to live.

But my life is on hold.